I am going to be a wife in 11 days and 17.25 hours. In fact, I cheated a little when I started this blog. As I looked ahead in my life I decided to take my fiance’s last name early; one less name change I have to make later. As my wedding day approaches I find myself finding myself. Most people would think that as the day approaches I would be mentally preparing to join my life with another person’s life.
Not the case for me
Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to be getting married, but how do you prepare for becoming someone’s life partner? How do you prepare to live with someone for the rest of your life? I just don’t think it is as easy as meditating. And I have never been one for understanding through reading or listening to other people. I need to experience things for myself.
So I figure the best way to prepare for my husband is to know myself. If I know my dreams and my hopes and my issues then I will be able to put me aside after I get married and learn about my husbands dreams and hopes and issues. This isn’t to say that I don’t already know Matt’s dreams, but it is different being a wife than a girlfriend.
And I will admit, I am savoring my last few days as a Novak. As Shakespeare said “What’s in a name?” but there must be something– otherwise it wouldn’t be so hard for me to change my name. I think the difference is my family will change. My focus will shift from my parents’ house to my house. Matt will be my family. My life. Clearly my family will be my family, but one day we will have kids and we will do holidays with our family and we will just visit our parents. And it is a little bittersweet. It is always bittersweet to end one chapter of your life and begin a new one.
So there it is, the confessions of an almost-bride. I am running to the altar while simultaneously clinging to the past.