I think I had a break through. About a month ago, I wrote a post wondering why women take so long in the bathroom (not all women, but a lot). It really annoys me. But I have a working theory on why women take so long.

Some women consistently take a long time in the bathroom so no one knows when they are pooping. If they don’t have to go “number two”, they just stand around, taking an exceptionally long time doing nothing, so when they have to “do the dirty [this phrase also used to mean having sex in some circles]” no one knows what’s going on.

This has to explain it. At least some of it, and I can faux prove it using reverse reasoning. In a recent poll (of three people, myself included), I found that some women hold it until they absolutely have to go. This allows the poop to build up for quick evacuation and no one knows you were just “taking a dump.” Trust me, it may sound weird, and it does get pretty uncomfortable, but I can “drop a duece” in three minutes or less. and, aside from the occasionally funky smell, no one knows what went on.  

Art by Jeph Novak
 



This post is dedicated to my sister Lindsey, in her heart, She knows why.

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