Please stop bending over!

So yesterday I was taking public transportation back uptown and I ended up waiting for a train at Wilson. It was really nice in Chicago yesterday, above 60 degrees for most of the day. It was beautiful. Unfortunately, it meant a new season of terrible choices in fashion. Yesterday, the bad choice was made by a young woman deciding to rock the leggings.

Now, don’t get me wrong, leggings are great! They are comfortable and make me feel super hot, but not everyone knows how to wear leggings correctly. Like the young woman on the platform.

She had on black leggings and a green t-shirt. That’s it. The t-shirt, when she pulled it down, almost covered her butt, but, as soon as she released, the t-shirt crept up, hanging out in the vicinity of lower back. I HATE when people wear leggings as pants. No one’s ass looks that good. No ones. Also: camel toe. It’s real. And it is scary. If you wear leggings, wear a tunic/shirt/dress/top that goes below the ass– and the test is if you bend over, not standing up straight, or wear shorts or a skirt if you want to wear a normal length t-shirt.

The second problem with her leggings, which was actually the first thing I noticed, was that they were too tight! You could see her black and white polka-dotted underwear clear as day. I felt so bad for her. When we finally got on the train, she ended up standing. So you know it was a full train. She BENT OVER to put down her shopping bags. You know how your ass seems to grow when you bend over as if it is getting wider. Well, guess what happened to her. Her butt expanded and her underwear just popped out from under the leggings as the leggings material was pulled to maximum capacity. The moral of this story: buying a size does not make you look fat to other people. People don’t know if you are a large, medium, small, xl– and if they do, then who are you trying to fool? It looks worse to wear the smaller tighter size than to wear YOUR size.

The worst part for me was not knowing what to do. After she bent over, people around me started snickering and talking about her. I felt so bad for her. She was with a guy too, and I don’t know if he noticed, but if he did, he did not feel comfortable talking to her about it. I wanted to tell her so badly, but I don’t know what that would have accomplished. She would have felt terrible all the way home. I wonder if she had some roommate or friend convince her that she didn’t look that bad or it wasn’t that noticeable. Women need to stop lying to each other and letting their fellow female sacrifice themselves to the criticism and cruelty of the masses. I mean, seriously, if she had one good friend (like the guy she was with) I would not be writing a blog about her right now.

Then again, if she had one good friend, I would not be writing a blog about her…

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