Tales from the Megabus

Oh megabus, you never fail to entertain. Today I would like to share my megabus ride with you through a series of short pithy letters to the passengers around me.

Dear seat partner,
I am not nearly as nice as I look. Please take your fat ass off my seat, remove your chubby elbow from my ribs, and buy two seats for your triple x body.
I sat down first

Dear pot smokers,
If you did not bring enough weed for the entire bus, then you should not be lighting up. It isn’t fair for you to enjoy this ride more than everyone else.

Dear high school girls behind me,
Just because your parents bought you tickets on the bus does not mean they bought you the whole fucking bus.
stop kicking my seat

Dear woman on the phone
Just because the person you are talking to is hundreds of miles away does not mean that we are.
I don’t like talking about my period why would I enjoy hearing about yours.

Dear cute couple,
Please stop cuddling. You make me miss my husband.
Mrs. Trueblood

Dear Matt
After eight hours of continually playing bejeweled blitz I finally beat your score.


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