I recently re-watched Beauty and the Beast the Disney classic (does it count as a classic?). The last few times I watched this movie there have been some small pieces of it that irritate me.
Let’s start with the time frame. If you do the math, the curse is put on the Beast when he is 11 years old! How did I get this age: at the beginning of the movie the narrator says that the Beast has to find love by his 21st birthday and then in the song Be Our Guest Lumiere says “ten years we’ve been rusting, needing so much more than dusting…” So there you go, Beast was 11. Doesn’t that seem kind of young for a person to be cursed or to be a huge dick? Also, at the beginning of the movie the stained glass windows make it seem like Beast is old! He does not look 11 in those opening scenes or in the painting in the West Wing.
Continuing on… how come no one in the village remembers a prince who was cursed? IT JUST HAPPENED! Plus this prince was a huge jerk as a human and only nice to pretty people. I think I would remember some snotty little kid making fun of me and then getting what he deserved by being turned into a monster. Everyone is shocked to find out there is a beast living up the road. Yet, even though they forgot they had a cursed prince living nearby, they remembered the way to his castle when Gaston wanted to hunt him down. Belle and her father only found the castle by chance, but the villagers walked right up to it! Absurd.
Now we come to Mrs. Potts and Chip. I don’t know if anyone ages in the movie, but it doesn’t seem to matter because Mrs. Potts seems to age for everyone. Let’s put this story in perspective: it’s 1700s France, people start having kids at 16 and are dead by 35. Mrs. Potts looks like she is 65 and has a toddler. HOW CAN SHE HAVE A TODDLER? Chip should be at least 10! And where is Mr. Potts? How can she have an infant and no husband? Did he fall off the counter and break? It makes me a little crazy. Plus, I just don’t think it is fair for the matronly woman to have to look matronly. Why couldn’t Mrs. Potts have the body of the feather duster when she became human again? Even if she didn’t get the body, at the very least she shouldn’t have gray hair! That’s just not fair. Dear Disney, you can be motherly and hot too, Sincerely, (almost-)A-Hot-Mama.
Also there are just some random inconsistencies. In Be Our Guest, Mrs. Potts sings about making tea and jumps on the stove! She says she’ll be “bubbling and brewing”. Tea pots don’t boil water (they do brew the tea) and, since they were made of porcelain, would probably break over the fire. Also, Mrs. Potts consistently calls the other tea cups Chips brothers and sisters, but they don’t come back to life with everything else. Most of the inanimate objects in the house become animated in the curse, but, if you notice, they do not get faces or lines– with the exception of the tea cups. The cream and sugar dishes do not have faces but the other tea cups do. Talk about childhood trauma: one day you are a baby human, the next a tea-cup with a bunch of brothers and sisters, you live ten years in the same cupboard as them and bam! suddenly you are human again and the cups are just cups. That kid is going to have separation and attachment issues for the rest of his life.
That’s all I got right now, there is probably more that irritates me about the movie, but I can’t think of it right now. So the next time you watch Beauty and the Beast, ask yourself, how the heck can an 11-year-old really be that much of a jerk and why is Mrs. Potts so darn old?!